Yummy

Mr. Pickles, AKA master grasshopper hunter and eater.

 p.s. I'm setting both of my blogs to private, so if you're not an "invited reader" you won't be able to see them. I know I have a few ghost readers so send me an email so I can set you up, if you like grasshopper torture of course :) 

almostamusing@gmail.com

So cute...

I've just found a pretty cool online fabric shop that I am totally in love with. I ordered a really cute print for baby hams diaper bag a few weeks ago and was really pleased with the quality (and the 50% off price). I love that they have tons of novelty prints and pretty good sales too! I wish I could buy the whole store and/or join their monthly quilting club! Too cute!!!!

From IF to when

"In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD."
In Hannah's words - "I am a woman who is deeply troubled... pouring out my soul to the LORD... out of my great anguish and grief." (1 Samuel 1:10-16)

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I remember marking this week on my phone last year, so as not to forget it. I felt like it was something special, almost like a holiday just for me,  something that would tie me to other people struggling with the same issues and make me feel united and not alone. I'm still observing this week, though my situation has changed. Though IF is over for now, I still feel like there's a part of me that will still always pay homage to it, something inside that wont let me forget, ever. I think that's important and healthy, after all, what kind of lesson would it have been if I had just moved on and forgotten about it all, and not let it change me in any way. I like the idea that it's changed me permanently (I hope for the better), that it's altered my heart and made this experience so, so, so meaningful. I can't tell you how many times I've read the story of St. Hannah. I loved her beautiful honesty and how she emptied out her pain and heartbreak to God. It was something I could completely identify with. St. Hannah never became bitter or angry though.

IF brought about a lot of ugly things in me. "A lot" is probably an understatement. Things I'm so glad are over for now. I don't know what Gods plan for me/us will be in the future, or whether or not we will have to revisit IF, but I do know that I've been through it, and learned and felt so much, and I can only pray that the next time around I would have the strength, grace, and peace, and even acceptance, to handle it in a totally different way. One that would be considered Christian.

This week I'm praying for those of you that are still waiting for your little miracles, for the hope of a family, and for your deepest desires to take shape...in whatever way that may be. For you to be delivered from your struggle and have HOPE, the most thankful heart in the world, and a peace that is so beautiful.

Read 1 Samuel 1 (1 Kings, LXX) for St. Hannah's story of prayer and weeping to receive a son. Here are the last two verses:
"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there.
Her banner reads "As long as he lives he is lent to the Lord." Another icon reads, "My heart hath rejoiced in the Lord, and my horn is exalted in my God."

Us!

I've been thinking a lot lately about what/who little Ham will look like. 

It's going to be so fun to find out! 

 

It's always the things that I find myself worrying about the most that actually happen. I was super worried about getting married (in the 6th grade), I worried about doing well in school (maybe that one doesn't count), worried about finding a house of our own and being able to afford it and about having a baby. I guess that officially makes me a worry wart (Thomas hates worry warts!). During this pregnancy I've been SUPER concerned/worried about getting into a car accident/rear-ended because of some information I've heard about their relationship with miscarriages. Well it happened. And it was scarry.

It happened Saturday night really close to home, with two really great (and calm) friends in the car. We were stopped at a light and some *really mean/rude person* hit us from behind. I think he had some speed to him as we heard his tires locking up and screaching for a good 5 seconds before he actually hit us. I actually started to scream when I heard that sound...I think I knew what was going to happen (It was this really lame high-pitched "I know what you did last summer" kind of girlish scream, and I had a some throat that night from it too). Brittany B. was in the back seat behind the passenger seat, Brad was in the front, I was driving. Thomas was pretty proud of me that I had left some room between my car and the person in front of me (we didn't hit). After Mr. Nice Guy hit us in his gigantic white dodge truck, he conveniently made his way up the empty left hand turn lane, blew the red light, and took off free and clear down the road. No one stopped, at all. It was rather crappy.

We were all pretty shaken up and had it not been for the two really calm people in the car with me I probably would have really freaked out, a lot more than I did. Thanks guys!

The police came, Jeremy met us at the scene, we made a report and that was it. Oh but I did make one interesting bathroom trip to this tavern that I hope I'll never have to enter again. Jeremy came with me though.

After the police report I wanted to go to Kaiser to see/make sure that the baby was okay. I was having some major cramping, and my belly felt as if someone had punched me. My seat belt locked up pretty good, but I think that the majority of it was caused by me tensing up so much those few seconds before. So Brittany accompanied me, I got checked out (the dr. had a hard time finding baby ham's heartbeat, and actually hung her head and shook it saying "no", then she found it, what seemed like a minute later, and said "ok", she made me cry of course, and then we were on our way.

It was all pretty interesting. Brad is maintaining his macho vibe and claiming no injuries, I suspect that poor Brittany got shaken up pretty good back there, but she isn't talking. I'm sore as heck, so I'm left to assume they're both liars! :) It could have been a lot worse!

So, the good news is that I'll finally be getting that bumper fixed and people wont automatically assume that I'm a bad driver when they see my car/bumper anymore. The better news is that we have insurrance and we can fix it, when we scrape together our deductible. The best news is that we're all okay...even baby ham!  Thank God!!!!!!

Christ is Risen!

Troparion (Special Melody)

Christ is risen from the dead,

trampling down death by death,

and upon those in the tombs bestowing life!

Hypakoe

Before the dawn,

Mary and the women came and found the stone

rolled away from the tomb.

They heard the angelic voice:

"Why do you seek among the dead as a man the One who is everlasting light?

Behold the clothes in the grave!

Go and proclaim to the world: The Lord is risen!

He has slain death, as He is the Son of God,

saving the race of men."

Kontakion (Tone 8)

Thou didst decend into the tomb, O Immortal,

Thou didst destory the power of death!

In victory didst Thou arise, O Christ God,

proclaiming "Rejoice" to the myrrhbearing women,

granting peace to Thy apostles,

and bestowing resurrection to the fallen.

Paschal hymn to the Theotokos:

The angel cried to the Lady Full of Grace: Rejoice, O Pure Virgin!

Again I say: Rejoice! Your Son is risen from His three days in the tomb!

With Himself He has raised all the dead! Rejoice, all you people!

Shine! Shine! O New Jerusalem!

The Glory of the Lord has shone on you!

Exalt now and be glad, O Zion!

Be radiant, O Pure Theotokos, in the Resurrection of your Son!

Icon of Saint Mary Magdalene, one of the myrrhbearing women, 

and reckoned as "equal to the Apostles." 

Mary was the first to proclaim the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

the art of relaxation (and french cooking)

 
I spent this morning with a good friend of mine, good food, yarn, and who else but Julie and Julia.
It was so relaxing, though she probably can't say the same, since she did have to drive here. We made some yummy buttermilk waffles, washed it down with cold milk (I know,  I know, the little perks of pregnancy during lent) and welcomed in the afternoon by getting cozy on the couch, just us, a lot of pillows, the remote to the dvd player-for those inevitable pee breaks, baby yarn and our collective needles and hooks. It was bliss and soooo relaxing.


And the movie...was pretty awesome too. Kind of inspiring. So I celebrated after she left with a microwaved burrito, pan fried to perfection. With butter. Julia would be so proud.
I found the movie to be quite enjoyable, and really, really cute.

BUT, there always seems to be that pithy little scene, the one that hits you like a ton of bricks, the one you know half the population missed, not out of stupidity or anything like that, just out of unfamiliarity....I felt for Julia and it reminded me of, well me, and I immediately thought of all the people I had hurt and abandoned with similar tears. Though I can't say I'd react the same as before, there is still this overwhelming part of me that still hurts. Hurts from my experience and from reflecting on my disposition, and from knowing that there are still so many women struggling with the emotions of infertility, struggling to live daily life like a normal person, with what it does to their relationships, and to their faith. I feel for them and they are always in my prayers, and I understand because I've been there. As I sat and watched the movie, with my low-key breakfast buddy, I got a little sad. Not because I can't cook as well as I'd like, though almost, but because I was reminded that for a good 5 months I missed out on this....